3 Years of Selfishness Left

With a birthday around the corner, it’s dawned on me that the years between 25-30 are the happiest and then the scariest. What else am I supposed to think when bloggers like Her 30’s talk about missing being selfish?! I just came into my “selfish” years (I know, late bloomer)… I don’t want them to go away!

Her 30’s explains:

As a woman in her thirties, I am very much in demand and it is this, being needed and the responsibilities that accompany it, that I struggle with. I am not complaining, but sometimes, in a fortunate moment of solitude and silence, I indulge in nostalgia and reminisce on days long gone. Days when I was the only person I answered to, took care of, or took into consideration.

… I miss being selfish. Yet at the same time, I feel fortunate knowing that my life has a higher purpose and that I can affect the people around me in a positive manner. Again, that struggle for the ever elusive balance, the theme of my thirties, is what I am challenged with daily.

I mean, Her 30’s doesn’t even know what she’d DO if she had some time to herself. I don’t want that to happen to me.

Funny part, (or maybe it’s the sad part), is that even as I write this, I don’t even know what that would be. What would I do on a holiday from my normal life? Would I go to the Korean Spa, read a book on the beach, go shopping for items I don’t need but just want, drink really expensive wine and sing Billie Holiday’s Greatest Hits out loud and all by myself?

It’s fun to imagine a day of selfishness. It feels like a vacation for my mind.

I guess the loss of selfishness comes with its benefits, as Her 30’s also mentions, because you can’t be self-centered and alone and selfish forever. At some point, it’s probably time to take someone else’s needs into consideration, i.e. a fish? Maybe a dog? A significant other?

So I’m taking a vow today. Twentysomething’s: take it with me!

Let’s try to spend our twenties balancing 70% selfishness and 30% giving and caring and loving others. Does that work? Maybe then, the transition into our 30’s (and mid-30’s – jesus help me) won’t feel like we’re giving up so much. Does that work?

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