Spamalot

…and no, not Monty Pythons‘.

I’m referring to the weirdos and bots out there that really still send out SPAM? This one wasn’t even filtered, went straight to my AOL inbox (which currently forwards to my gmail,) and I honestly started reading it because I thought it was from the BF (from a different email?)

Anyway, alla Girl On The Contrary and her #SpamShouts, I had to share this because I was floored:

“SUBJECT: Guess who’s moving near you!
From: nitroset
To: quank93 ?!?!??!

BABE… i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been?

In case u dont know who this is its ME Paige.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then I think u deleted me 😦 haha.. anyways guess what… I got 2 things to tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up about 3 months ago… and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR U.. lol… ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3 cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..

I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even help me move my shit in…are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was soo confused…anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and take me out so u better be around bebe…

we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt tell u cause i wasnt single lol…ok so more info about me.. well im 23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named BOO and i luv her to death… uhhh oh im a super ………..”

yeah… it gets PERVcentral after that… but can you honestly even believe it continues for 3 more MAMMOTH paragraphs? (and NO the @Jenna_marbles face was not in the email)

I’ve gotten these “hey sexy …check out my pics, so hot… oh yea” crap spam emails- but never, EVER this long.

God help us all… will the SPAM ever stop?!