You probably thought this was going to be about liquor or drinking. WRONG! This evening in the dark corners of the Man Cave we discuss how we prefer women to handle potential chemistry/ or non-interest when we start dating. Do we like it straight-up and honest or on the rocks and hard-to-get?
FRANKIE: When it comes to the ladies I am pretty laid back which at times can be confused for shyness. I am not that guy that’s going to approach you on some “YO MA WHAT’S REALLY GOOD?” Or drop a dopy line to get your attention. I’m just going to be myself. I’ll try to be funny and start a conversation. See where things are going and I’ll be cool about things.
That being said I think you can guess which side of the spectrum I am on. I like women to be on my page, on the rocks. Relax and show me your cards little by little. It’s not fun playing with somebody when you know their next move. Let me try to guess what you’re going to do next and keep me on my toes.
I have always been attracted to the “hard-to-get” kind of girl. Don’t confuse hard-to-get with the dull women that don’t know what they want. A hard-to-get woman is usually confident, independent, and need to think outside of the box to keep me guessing. While the woman that shows her cards (straight up) is usually very, very good at flirting. Flirting is fun but it will only take you so far. The hard-to-get woman is also patient. Before we met I had a life and will continue to so you have to understand that my daily routines will not change. When I have space in my calendar I will squeeze you in, trust me. I have encountered girls who have been intimidated by my social life. But because the hard-to-get is confident she will not worry. She knows she caught my attention and I’ll be available for her.
It is always good to establish things, but do it at the right moment. Being too straight forward at times is a turn off simply because it makes you look either paranoid or like you’re placing a lot of trust on the other person. I would like to get to know you, yes, but don’t get too personal too quickly. You take a crap every day at 2 PM? Whoa! What? That’s too much info. I don’t even know you’re last name.
JESUS: I don’t see what the big deal is with moving things forward a little quicker than what they “normally” do. That is why I don’t mind a female who’s a little on the aggressive side. I don’t mean I want you to confess your love for me after two dates but be a little bold and let me know where things are going.
I’m pretty much sold on the fact that after a first date, if thought out well, you can determine whether you will like to take things a little further with a person or not. If your going out on a second, third and fourth date that means there’s something in that person you like, so why not let them know? Subtle hints here and there won’t cut it, just open up and tell them how you feel.
Some people might think that a bold female letting a guy know how she feels is dumb, “oh no, he’s gonna take advantage of that now, you should’ve never done that,” and they might be right. However, if the guy takes advantage after she lays her feelings on the table, he was going to take advantage of the situation anyway.
I think expressing how you feel takes confidence, and that’s the sexiest trait any female can have. Playing “hard-to-get” is definitely fine but I don’t think that will add or subtract value to a female. In my eyes, her value is in her character. Is she interesting? Can you have conversations with her? The way she carries herself etc.
It takes confidence AND courage to let someone know how you feel and those are two traits a female I want to be with should have. So I embrace it, “Tonight, I will love love you tonight. Give me everything tonight. For all we know we might not get tomorrow. Let’s do it tonight” To me it’s that simple.
How do you like your new dates/potential new ladies to act? Play hard-to-get and keep you on your toes, or straight-up and on the table honest.
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I agree with pieces from both of Frankie’s and Jesus’ perspectives. I personally find a woman who keeps me on my toes and isn’t so easily predictable much more intriguing, but at the same time, I like to be forward as well. In fact, a girl that will incite that sort of interest in me will lead me to be even more aggressive in the chase because that sense of mystery and the psychological/emotional challenge presented to you by someone of that caliber makes them seem like they are worth the effort, and you don’t want to miss out on that opportunity. By making your intentions clear from the start and putting yourself out there, you’re telling her that you’re interested and that you respect her, as long as you take the mature attitude towards your pursuit (telling a girl “hey you’re pretty interesting, let’s go have sex” does not apply here).
I also agree that by the end of the first date, you have a good enough feeling about whether or not you want to continue seeing this girl, and if you do, in which terms you want to see her, be it as a friend, as a sexual interest, or as a romantic interest. First impressions do make a difference, and the chemistry you have on that first date sets the foundation for your entire relationship. There has to be communication between the two, and I would rather be more forward about it and know where things are going, like Jesus said, rather than be stuck wondering what she’s thinking or how she feels about the situation. That is also important for your relationship down the road, understanding that both people in a relationship will have a life of their own to lead, and that you do your best to make time for each other (assuming you’re in a good relationship).
The best opinion/advice I would give about this subject would be to be comfortable with yourself, don’t play games, and be forward with your intentions but respectful of hers as well. Meet her halfway and put yourself out there. If she’s interested, she will not only return the favor, but she’ll appreciate your effort and how you handled approaching her. If not, then you find someone else that will. Good job guys, I enjoyed the read.
Hey Slim, thanks for taking the time to read and reply. I definitely agree with what you said about meeting each other half way. In that case, it is good to have things established because if you find yourself chasing a girl who you believe is playing hard to get but in reality doesn’t like you, then you’ll just be wasting your time. Great reply by the way. I think you wrote more than Jesus and I put together.
Slim dropped in some awesome insight! Thanks for reading Slim! Shoot me a message (top navi, “contact”) if you’re interested in guest writing for the Man Cave!