In a couple of pages in Mindy’s book, she addresses the day she stopped eating cupcakes; I knew before even starting the short story that I would totally understand.
In a nutshell, Mindy talks about “Sunshine Cupcakes”, a bakery she would frequent when she’d go out on script*.
…So, yeah, on my fourth consecutive visit to Sunshine Cupcakes, I was paying for my cupcake when the female manager approached me.
GIRL: You’ve come here a lot this week.
ME (mouthful of generous sample): Yeah, I love this place, man.
GIRL: We know you’re on Twitter. And if you’re willing to tweet about loving Sunshine cupcakes, this cupcake is free.
I did not know it was possible to be triple offended. First of all, Manager Woman, if you notice that a thirty-two-year-old woman is coming to your cupcake bakery every day of the week, keep that information to yourself. I don’t need to be reminded of how poor my food choices are on a regular basis…
This is why I never eat cupcakes anymore. The connotations are too disturbing.
I feel the same way about my favorite pizzeria, which I have on speed dial and order from often. Every time I order and they confirm my phone number (probably hoping I’m calling for someone else, or a different address), they know exactly who I am and my address (thanks to their handy-dandy system) which I also confirm sheepishly.
I swear once they know it’s me… I can sense the eye rolling through the phone. What is the big deal? As a fabulous bachelorette, busy with work and grad school and a social life, I don’t have time to cook. Besides, pizza place(!), I really like your pizza/chicken Caesar salads/your really good bread; get over it. It’s a compliment!
So you see, Mindy, while I don’t think I’ll stop eating pizza at this place, I totally empathize with your feelings about Manager Woman because I have bratty Pizza Girl judging me.
*Out on script refers to when writers are sent off on their own to write a first draft of an episode of a show. – Mindy